The Emperor’s Clothes, 2021

The Emperor’s Clothes, 2021

By

Leo de Natale

Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci

The Emperor’s Clothes is an old fairy tale whose moral is people can be hoodwinked into believing there’s something there when there isn’t. Combine that myth with P. T. Barnum’s quip there’s a sucker born every minute and you have the Goldendoodle.

The concept of mating a Golden Retriever with a standard-sized Poodle was this: mix the temperament of a Retriever with the hypoallergenic properties of a Poodle and you have an ideal dog.

During the 1990’s the Goldendoodle “breed” was first popularized in Australia where breeders got the brilliant idea for creating a pet for persons who loved dogs but had canine allergies. Dander in a Retriever’s coat was the source of allergic reactions. Poodles are one of several breeds such as Bichon Frises having wiry, non-shedding coats. Anyone who’s ever owned a Golden Retriever or any long-haired dog knows about the daily shedding that leaves tumbleweeds of hair throughout a home.

Australians refer to Goldendoodles as “Groodles” and are considered mongrels, i.e., mixed breed dogs. The notion of creating a dog that would be compatible with persons with allergies gained traction. The dog owners and breeders were buzzing over this “new breed”. Soon Americans were breeding Doodle dogs and today they’ve achieved a strong presence in the United States. Labrador Retrievers are the most popular AKC breed. Today, Labradoodles are flooding the Doodle market. The Doodles’ sizes vary with the poodle types: standard, miniature and toy. They also vary in coat color and length.

In the dog world, however, various purebred dogs experience ephemeral popularity. Breeds become trendy and have their fifteen minutes of fame. For example, in the 1990’s, the film 101 Dalmatians was released and, predictably, Dalmations became the dog du jour. Breeders couldn’t keep up with the demand. Their popularity was short lived when owners discovered the breed was difficult to train. They were high energy dogs who were bred to run, run, run. Hyperactivity was the Dalmation’s calling card. They also have a genetic predisposition to deafness.

Then it was on to the wooly Bernese Mountain Dogs. “Berners” have adorable faces, especially as puppies. They are a large, obscure Swiss breed and the total number of dogs worldwide is small in comparison to others. This meant there is a diminished gene pool. What emerged is an AKA-approved breed that is inbred and has various genetic defects. Many Bernese have short life spans or manifest poor temperament.

The American Kennel Club’s (AKC) top three breeds – Labrador Retrievers, German Shepherd Dogs and Golden Retrievers- have been the most popular dogs for decades. The remaining breeds (there are a total of 202 recognized) travel up and down the popularity scale. Movies can have an influence, e.g., think Pugs after the Men In Black movies or television’s Eddie, the Jack Russell Terrier, who was a favorite on the Frasier show.

There has been a decrease in purebred dog sales due to the increased cost. A prospective dog owner is shocked by the sticker price. Most purebreds cost between $1,000-$5,000. The specific breed doesn’t matter. They’re expensive. Many Americans have opted for shelter dogs who have been abandoned. Often the adoptees are from Southern states and cost $300-$500.

The success of Doodle crossbreeding, however, has swept the breeding landscape. Therein lies a paradox and that’s where Mr. Barnum’s influence appears. Today, an entire subspecies has appeared and the cost rivals purebreds. “Breeders” have invented new Doodles that are bred with toy breeds. Chia-poos (Chihuahua/Poodle), Maltipoos (Maltese/Poodle), Cavipoo (Cavalier King Charles/Poodle), etc. There are about 22 distinct crossbreeds. Our friend the Bernese Mountain Dog has also been bred to create the Bernadoodle.

This is where the insanity is manifested. Unscrupulous people have created a cottage industry by breeding two purebreds and creating mongrels, regardless of size. Doodle dogs will never be recognized as an official breed.

          “It’s rare for me to train purebred dogs,” said Kitty Hayes, a professional trainer with 30 years’ experience. “The Doodle crosses have been dominating the dog breeding industry for quite some time. They come in all different sizes, shapes, and colors.  Some I train are sweet while I’ve trained many that have  attitudes; others have been unstable. Hybrid vigor varies.”

          Hayes said Standard Poodles can be large (they often weight up to 70lbs.) with dominant personalities.  

The AKC has specific rules and regulations that govern such physical attributes of size, weight, color and temperament. For example, pure White German Shepherd Dogs  are bred but not officially recognized because of their coat color.  Dachsunds have three coats, smooth, wire-haired and long  but must conform to size, weight and physical appearance.  The same applies to fox terriers, smooth and wire; Collies can be smooth or rough coated.

But guess what? Doodle dogs are outselling purebreds. Search the internet and you’ll find a Bernadoodle puppy with a $4,500 price tag. These mixed breed dogs with their cachet are fetching as much as the AKC breeds. Owners of these mongrels are quite proud and happy with their selections. In many from affluent communities residents parade around with their en vogue Doodle puppies unaware they’ve been played. There are many emperors who strut with dogs that are fool’s gold. A mongrel is a mongrel is a mongrel. Isn’t that right, Mr. Barnum?

          Meanwhile there are thousands of animal shelters across the country where kind-hearted volunteers tend to stray dogs who, if not adopted, face a said end to their sorry beginnings.  The euthanizing  hypodermic needle awaits them.  Such is a dog’s life.