Author Archives: leodenatale

Moans, Groans and Stones By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci She was a twenty-year-old, acne ridden woman who had Biafrin-thin skinniness. Like so many lemmings her age, she had the obligatory nose ring pierced through her left nostril and dagger-shaped chest tattoo emanating somewhere below her sternum and ending just below the throat.Continue reading “Moans, Groans and Stones”

Die, Fly By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci Curiously, the taxonomic nickname of the above insect is Psychodidae. We know it as the common drain fly, a nettlesome household pest that can drive humans crazy/psychotic. Ask Joel Pinter. “Jamie, there’s more of them!”, he yelled to his wife as he exited the showerContinue reading “Die, Fly”

Lose The Attitude, Lady By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci “We’ve been waiting for 30 minutes, Doctor,” said Cindy Thornton, a forty-ish mother whose teenage son Timothy “Timmy” Thornton was in tow. “I’m really pressed for time and Timmy needs to be fitted to contact lenses and I want him fitted today.” TheseContinue reading “Lose The Attitude, Lady”

Hey, Buy This! By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci Joseph “Jo Jo” Bjornson decided to apply for yet another credit card—he already had several: LL Bean, Orvis, Amazon Prime, Walmart, etc. He had joined membership to a regional discount store a la Costco. The big box store, “Buy This”, had comparable prices andContinue reading “Hey, Buy This!”

Taming A Smart TV By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci Last week our twelve-year-old flat screen television suddenly went into its death throes. Jerry Seinfeld’s face had vertical rows of moving green lines. So didn’t Kramer’s, Elaine’s and George’s. It added a bit of immediate humor but then got old. Pretending you’re stonedContinue reading “Taming A Smart TV”

A Park Bench ByLeo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci “Anna, I’ve been in full sloth mode this morning,” Josef Hraček says to his wife in a muted Eastern European accent. “I need to go to the Garden for some work.” It is a warm, beautiful day in mid-May. Josef grabs his 18”x24” Blick WhiteContinue reading “A Park Bench”

These Are Not Your Hawaiian Islands By Leo de Natale Ask most people over age 70 about their health and you’ll receive a laundry list of ailments: high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, diabetes mellitus (The Big Three), arthritis, joint replacements and cataract surgery. Most folks in this group will fall victim to at least one,Continue reading “These Are Not Your Hawaiian Islands”

Bully On The Branch By Leo de Natale Illustration by Vince Giovannucci         We used to feed birds during winter. The red metal  feeder was one of those spring-loaded jobs that prevented larger birds and squirrels from hogging the sunflower seeds.  Alas, we had a mouse infestation several years ago and discontinued the daily activity.Continue reading “Bully On The Branch”

A Trip Through The Abattoir By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci It was fall, 2021. Flashback two years ago. In May, 2019 Julie and Kyle Reston had flown first class for a dude ranch horseback riding vacation in sunny Arizona. What an experience. There’s a perceived pretentiousness with many who fly first classContinue reading “A Trip Through The Abattoir”

The Emperor’s Clothes, 2021 By Leo de Natale Illustrations by Vince Giovannucci The Emperor’s Clothes is an old fairy tale whose moral is people can be hoodwinked into believing there’s something there when there isn’t. Combine that myth with P. T. Barnum’s quip there’s a sucker born every minute and you have the Goldendoodle. TheContinue reading “The Emperor’s Clothes, 2021”